Creativity
Thoughts on Teshuvah 2018
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At the very onset of his Hilkhot Teshuvah, HaRambam
wrote:
If
a person transgressed any of the commandments of the Torah – whether a positive
command or a negative command, whether willingly or inadvertently – when he
repents and turns away from his sin he is obliged to confess before God…
He described a system where teshuvah
responds to its most objective context. Following sin, a person must regret their
wrongdoing, verbally confess it and commit to act differently. Absent from this
picture, however, is a more nuanced approach to mending a fractured relationship
with God. A process of that nature would need to expand the focus from concrete
actions to the subjective realm of thought and emotion. The first
several chapters of Hilkhot Teshuvah make no mention of that concept.
The general contours of teshuvah begin
to expand, however, with HaRambam’s words at the beginning of the fifth
chapter:
Free
will is granted to all men. If one desires to turn himself to the path of good
and be righteous, the choice is his. Should he desire to turn to the path of
evil and be wicked, the choice is his.
Stressing our freedom of choice, these words
diverged from the strictly structured system of return which was previously
described. Accordingly, HaRambam then mentioned the need to repent from
negative character traits – anger, hatred, envy, frivolity, etc. – each of
which necessarily defies the clear-cut definitions of missvot and averot.[1]
This broader vision of teshuvah
emerges as the passage to restoring a lost relationship with God:
Teshuvah
brings
near those who were far removed. Previously, this person was hated by God,
disgusting, far removed, and abominable. Now, he is beloved and desirable,
close, and dear.[2]
Merely straightening our actions which have
become skewed cannot bring back a lost emotional bond. Returning to that past
communion must instead entail a complete reconstruction of our self-identity.
A transformation of this sort is no simple
feat. It requires our steadfast commitment to creative vision. R. Joseph B.
Soloveitchik z”l wrote about the central role of creativity to teshuvah:
A
person is creative; he was endowed with the power to create at his very inception.
When he finds himself in a situation of sin, he takes advantage of his creative
capacity, returns to God, and becomes a creator and self-fashioner. Man,
through repentance creates himself, his own “I.”[3]
Making sense of past mistakes and realigning
ourselves with our innermost ideals means tapping into our creative soul and
reformulating our very being.
Hilkhot Teshuvah, then,
maps out a system of return that begins with a clearly defined structure and
ends with the endless possibilities of creativity. The Hakhamim intuited
a similar reality in our general approach to Torah. Consider the description of
the first luhot:
The tablets were God’s work, and the writing was God’s
writing, incised upon (“harut”) the tablets. (Shemot 32:16)
Chiseled by God onto the stone tablets that
He crafted, the words of the luhot seem impenetrable. Paradoxically,
however, R. Yehoshua b. Levi pointed to this very reality when he stated that
“no one is truly free, except if he engages in Torah study.”[4]
Homiletically reading the word limiting word “harut” (incised) as “herut”
(free), he realized the potential freedom of future interpretation of the Torah
in the initial reception of the luhot. The well-known Jewish philosopher
Emil Fackenheim captured this irony when he referred to the “double
astonishment” at that time, beginning with “terror at a Presence, at once
divine and commanding,” which then emerged as “joy at a Grace which restores
and exalts human freedom by its commanding Presence.”[5]
The flourishing life of Torah’s creative expression came forth from the narrow
straits of a contained beginning.
Our careful reading of Hilkhot Teshuvah
revealed a process that resembles our approach to Torah. Each process begins on
a path of a strict obedience which then expands into the freedom of creative
expression. This should come as no surprise. Teshuvah and Torah
represent ideal paths to establishing a relationship with God. The roots for
growth in any relationship are nourished by adherence to precise guidelines
which set the grounds for the flowers that are blossomed through thought and
emotion.
In our quest for a renewed relationship with
God, we must begin along the strictly-defined path of “If a person transgressed…when
he repents…he is obliged to confess before God.” Setting the groundwork for the
communion, we may then cautiously proceed into the realm of “Teshuvah brings
near those who were far removed…Now he is beloved and desirable, close, and
dear.”