Self-Identity
A Message for Parashat Mikess 2016
Click here to view as PDF.
Whereas the narratives of Sefer
Bereshit are generally clear regarding God’s ultimate plan and purpose in
action, the reason for Yosef’s imprisonment is never fully explained. His
self-restraint during his encounter with his master’s wife appears commendable,
and his rise to power could have conceivably been implemented in a variety of
other ways. What, then, was the reason for Yosef’s incarceration and ultimate
rise to power by means of dream-interpretation?
Mankind is diverse in
every sense of the word. Beyond our various differences in appearance and
opinion, we are fundamentally separated from one another by our distinct
“identities.” We each possess several defining characteristics, shaped by a
myriad of factors, which define who we are and what we stand for.
What was Yosef’s core “self-identity” during the various stages of his life?
The Torah first introduces
us to Yosef by means of his dreams. His childhood is summed up by two dreams of
majesty and the resulting conflict with his brothers. The portrait of Yosef’s
early self-identity thus stands out for its clear association to dreams. And
dreams would continue to define him in Egypt. His dream-interpretations in
prison and then to Pharaoh were the clear sparks of his success.
Yosef is further
identified as an “Ivri,” a Hebrew, during his stay in Egypt. Judging by
his own self-description and that of others about him, Yosef’s strong
association to his homeland played a prominent role in his self-identity while
in Egypt.
Immediately following his
sale to Potifar, the pasuk summarizes Yosef’s status at that time in a
sentence: “And Hashem was with Yosef, and he was a successful man, and he
was in the house of his Egyptian master” (39:2). The latter part of the
verse importantly highlights the contrast between Yosef “the Ivri,” and
Potifar “the Missri,” and calls our attention to its association with
his success.
Following Yosef’s
successful resistance of the sexual advances from his master’s wife, she
mockingly exclaims to the members of her household, “See, he (Potifar) has
brought us a Hebrew man to play with us” (39:14), and then remarks to
her husband, “The Hebrew slave came into me” (39:17). Underlying her
claim that Yosef had overstepped his boundaries as a slave looms the possible
reality that Yosef had in fact lost sight of his unique “Ivri” identity.
And therein lay the rationale for his demise and imprisonment – a loss of
appropriate self-identity.
If a loss of self-identity
earned him imprisonment, then appropriate recognition would grant him freedom.
And so, following his interpretation of the chief cup-bearer’s dream, Yosef
begged he remember him, adding, “For indeed I was stolen from the land of
the Hebrews, and here, too I did nothing that I should have been put in the
pit” (40:15). Notice how Yosef’s identity-recognition now appropriately
dovetailed with his other dominant association – dreams! Yosef had now
“rediscovered” his true self, honestly self-identifying as an Ivri and
symbolically exposing his essence by means of his dreams.
Yosef’s subsequent rise to
power, however, brought forth a new challenge to maintaining true
self-identity. The drift was precipitated by the public honor that he was
immediately granted (41:43), and furthered by a subsequent name change (Safenat
Pa’ane’ah) and arranged marriage by Pharaoh (3:45). Indeed, his Ivri
self-identity seemed all but lost following the birth of his sons: “And Yosef
called the name of his firstborn Menashe, meaning, God has released me from all
the debt of my hardship, and of all my father’s house. And the name of
the second he called Ephraim, meaning, God has made me fruitful in the land of
my affliction” (41:51-2). Reading his life’s story through our current prism,
we fear the worst for Yosef at this juncture. He has consciously and
publicly shed his self-identity with his sons’ naming!
This time, however, there
would be no imprisonment. A far stronger measure was in store for Yosef: “And
the sons of Yisrael came to buy provisions among those who came, for there was
famine in the land of Canaan. As for Yosef, he was the regent of the land, he
was the provider to all the people of the land” (42:5-6). Maintaining a false
self-identity in face of his brothers, even as they did not recognize him,
would not be simple. He was now staring and conversing with the living reminders
of who he really was.
“And Yosef remembered the
dreams he had dreamed about them” (42:9). As he opened his mouth to address his
brothers, Yosef’s inner conscience stirred. His true self-identity –
represented by his dreams – came to mind. He struggled with the dichotomy of what
he had become and who he really was. “And he said to them, ‘You are
spies! To see the land’s nakedness you have come” (ibid.). It would take
time for Yosef to come clean with his true self-identity, and his own self
struggle would first play out through a struggle with his brothers.
The irony of his brothers’
subsequent conversation in his “mother tongue,” which they presumed he did not
understand, brought him to tears (42:23-4). His self-identity crisis
intensified. As they much later sat to eat bread it continued: “They served him
and them separately, and the Egyptians that were eating with him separately,
for the Egyptians would not eat bread with the Hebrews” (43:32). Yosef was then
separated from the Egyptians, and associated with his brothers – the Ivrim.
And as his inner struggle came to its end, as Yosef confided his identity to
his brothers, he begged they come closer (45:4). The Hakhamim
appropriately captured this moment of closure and acceptance of self-identity
when they suggested that the purpose of Yosef’s invitation was to expose to
them his circumcision – his true mark of “Ivri” identity.[1]
Several years ago, The
New York Times ran an article that examined several successful people in
varied walks of life. Interviewing a restaurateur, a tennis champion and a rock
star, the authors expected to hear that talent, persistence, dedication and
luck played crucial roles in their success. They instead wrote about their
surprise to find that self-awareness played an equally strong role. Each
person recalled the “wrong path” they inadvertently trekked down at the “low
points” of their career, and how their ultimate success was only realized by
courageously challenging their assumptions, objectives and goals.[2]
We are similarly reminded by the unique telling of Yosef’s story that a periodic
self-examination – of our beliefs, missions and goals – is a necessity for
success.
[1] See Rashi’s Commentary, ad
loc.
[2] “Secret Ingredient for Success,” by Camille Sweeney and Josh Gosfield, The New York Times, Jan.
19, 2013. Thank you to Marc and Rita Mishan for sharing this article with me.